Closer than a brother

In the searing heat last night, i reflected on some significant relationships. I began asking myself what a person needs to get them out of trouble, out of deep soul darkness, out of the paralysis of fear, out of loneliness and strife. My own life experience started to speak of constant support, deep fellowship and non-stop kindness, and in return - accepting that help - and keeping up the closeness - making time to be with them so they can build you up.

And then out of the blue - well out of the dark night - i was reminded of a phrase - There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Despite the fact that it was nearing 2am I had to find out where this phrase was from, and convinced it was from the Word - I found it thanks to biblegateway...

A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Completely amazed - i started digging into this small yet rich and nutritious morsel.
The two phrases show different kinds of relationship. One is a comfort - and the other ends in desolation and desertion.

There is not a strong bond in the 'many companions' to see the person through their trouble.
The many companions don't seem to have any effect on the persons well-being and it may end in ruin. We're not told that the sticky friend will avert the ruin or disaster, but rather that they will be there right through it all. The sticky friend has a resolve and a bond to the person that is stronger than the ties of blood family.

So i began to explore few other similar references - Proverbs 17:17 says

A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.

Here i find a similar expression of the sticky friend - Their love is constant. It doesn't change with the trouble and business of life, nor with the whim of emotional fervour or any other external influence - but is driven to love at all times. The connected phrase in the couplet deepens the relationship by showing purpose in brotherhood. The brother that is born with a purpose. I have a friend who named his son with a Maori name Te Ohorei, a name that signifies purpose in caring for his brother. The brother talked about here is for the benefit of their sibling - one of their primary purposes is to love at all times - to be there - ready for the trouble to take up the brothers burdens and bear them.

And then i was taken to the highest point of this brotherhood - this sticky friend - this most valuable and constant singular companion. Jesus said in John 15:14

You are my friends if you do what i command

The most rock solid friend has loved and continues to love at all times. - Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man - though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his love for us in this - While we were still sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8) The firstborn among many brothers was born with the purpose of facing this adversity on our behalf. The adversity he faced was the righteous anger of God against sin, the abuse of his creation, the humiliation of being rejected by his own, the physical pain, you name it - i believe he's suffered the adversity. And so He is able to comfort us in our adversity. He is able to stick closer than a brother.

He knows you need his love and your character requires it, and here in Johns gospel - he tells us what his character is like and what is essential to maintaining this fellowship - that is obedience. Obedience is inseparable from fellowship. we can't have this brotherhood without it.

The way to keep a deep fellowship - is to engage in the things that keep a fellowship alive. Doing things together that suit the character of the participants is what makes up fellowship. Supporting the weaker and giving help along the way may be the role of one, and learning and following in a disciplined way the role of the other. If we keep wandering off and pushing away his love by behaving against his character, we un-stick ourselves from his stickyness. He'll always be sticky for sticking to us - but if we're not clinging back in obedience, it's a loose friendship on our part - we're loosing that intense proximity, the shared personal space that not even a brother may enter.

So for me - i need to be obedient and constantly in touch with the stickiest of friends. I need to be close in life, doing the things he likes - close in the Word, hearing from him - close in prayer, pouring out from the depths of my being praise, thanks, and requests with gratitude for his stickyness.

He is the friend i know who is by me when fear arrives, so that i may be strengthened to obey instead of freeze or run. He is the one with the light to see my way out of the dark tunnel of sin or despair. He is the one who delivers me from trouble - even those of my own making. I've found this to be real - a comfort and I hope and pray that you do too.

1 John 1:3-4 says

We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.